I'm not a mother. I passed on that option a number of years back for a number of reasons. In the long run, I know it was a sound move. I've long since got over my kid-phobia and now find well-mannered little munchins a treat. (Note the well-mannered in that sentence). You can have great fun with them and then hand the little mites back to their parents when they get cranky, or suddenly develop teething symptoms.
However, since it's Mother's Day, I'd like to offer my ideas of why books can can be better than kids. All tongue in check, of course, so don't go nuclear on this, okay?
Books Can Be Better Than Kids Because:
1) They may expect you to get up at 3 a.m. and take care of them, but they don't require diaper changes.
2) You never worry what your book is doing at midnight and if it's going to be in before curfew.
3) Books do not borrow your clothes.
4) Books do not whine at you about a new pair of tennis shoes, the latest album or why all the other books have cars.
5) Books don't show up on your doorstep, a wee book in their arms of unknown parentage.
6) Books can't be busted by the cops for possession of illegal substances.
7) Books do not get tattoos or studs on their covers.
8) Books do not get crushes, fall in love with other books that are too old for them or get divorces.
9) Books do not run up your phone bill, your charge card or get their pages dyed pink.
10) Books do not get speeding tickets, require braces or have an identity crises.
On the downside, books do not send you flowers for Mother's Day or give you a big hug and say "Love ya, mom."
So I wish all the mums out there a very happy day. Consider yourself lucky, ladies.