Tuesday, March 11, 2008

For Better or Worse... But Not For the Press Conferences

I'm a lengthily married person so I know about temptation. I attend a lot of conventions and there are some rather nice fellows at some of these. Since it is a convention I could probably get a little on the side and my spouse would never know. Unfortunately, I would. Guilt plays havoc with me. Hubby and I agree that every now and then one's eyes roam, but as long as the rest of you doesn't, we're in good shape. For us, crossing that line is not worth it. If it was, we'd have an open marriage, which seems a bit of an oxymoron to me. Maybe I'm just a bit old-fashioned.

The point of this post is the Spitzer fiasco. Yet again we have the power broker at the podium telling the world how he let them and his family down while his loyal wife is by his side. After the event, they're holding hands as they leave. Now I don't know the family dynamics there, but this always chafes me. The guy gets caught with his pants down and the faithful wife is there for him.

Just once I would love to see the following happen:
Guy Who Got Caught: "I admit I had a relationship with that woman, man, prostitute, sorority, football team. This is a deep blow to my career and, oh yeah, my family. As you can see, my beloved wife is up here with me so you know she'll forgive me. You should do the same because, hey, it's a guy thing."

When I Got Caught is through with his spiel, the wife leans over to the mic and says, "I have a few words on this subject." This will, of course, be a surprise to Lover Boy as he figures she's supposed to just stand there and look supportive.

Wife continues, "While I'm here being publicly humiliated because you can't keep your dick in your pants, the locks are being changed and your crap is being thrown out on the lawn. " She slaps down a sheaf of papers in front of him. "The divorce papers. Trust me, jerk, I'm taking half of everything. Then I'm going to write a tell-all book about what an ass you are and donate the proceeds to a battered women's shelter. Oh, and one final thing. You know those penis enhancing ads you get in the email? Try reading them."

Then wife walks off. I figure she'd get a standing ovation, at least from the women in the audience. Just once I'd love to see the woman in this horrendous tale nail the bastard during the press conference. Then I can die happy.*

Now a question -- does anyone remember a press conference where a female high roller admits to getting horizontal outside of her marriage and her husband stands up there with her looking supportive? If it's happened, I regret not seeing it. I would have felt for the guy, big time.

*Now that I think of it, there was recently an incident in China where a lady lit into her hubby on national TV for screwing around on her. It was a real shocker over there. If I remember it right, they put her in jail.

Update: Here's an article about why wives take the heat with their husbands. The video is very interesting in that former Mrs. McGreevey says that for three days her hubby was cloistered with the political and lawyer types trying to determine his future, she was trying to work out what to do on her own. That says it all. Maybe it is easy for some of us to ask "Why are you up there with him?" but it's a legitimate question. Yes, it's a personal decision. Still, the question should be asked.

And finally, a nice piece in Newsweek that asks the same question.

Okay, one last post on this subject. I got it all wrong: it's the wife's fault. I shoulda known.


steve said...

Lord Louis Mountbatten's wife Edwina was notoriously unfaithful to him, though Louis himself had affairs with both men and women (he was known by some as "Mountbottom.") When he was viceroy of India, Louis took advantage of his wife's affair with Nehru to get information. Of course, he never had to stand by his wife while she told all. The Brits were a little more discreet in those days.

Dylan Thomas forgave his wife Caitlin for infidelity, but he was no politician. There was Congressman Daniel Sickles, who publicly forgave his wife for having an affair with Philip Barton Key, (son of Francis Scott) in 1859, but only after he had gunned down Key.

Nope, I can't think of any male politician who did what Silda Spitzer did.

Jana Oliver said...

I forgot about Lord Louis and Edwina. Now they were a pair. As to Sickles, I do love the idea of forgiving one's wife after having killed her lover. Classy. One wonders if that forbearance came before after he was acquitted for murder.

I suspect one reason we've not seen a male standing behind his female politician wife while she admits to toasting her marshmallows over someone else's fire, is that there aren't that many women that high on the totem pole (yet). I doubt that women are any more discrete or more virtuous. So perhaps somewhere down the line there will be some mournful fellow, ashen-faced (as they described Silda Spitzer) watching his wife admit to cuckolding him. Maybe he'll wear a set of horns. Now that would be amusing.