Zombies, Beaches and Vodka

Zombies, beaches and vodka. Just what do they have in common? My life (and thanks for asking). The zombies were everywhere in Atlanta over Dragon*Con. They even had a Zombie Ball. No, I have NO pictures of zombies. My husband did take a few (see left for a fine young specimen rifling through the newspaper machines.) So what is it with me and zombies? Why did I hot foot it out of Oakland Cemetery one day when a Zombie Walk invaded the place?

Personal confession: I'm not cool with the undead. Vampires/vampyres (no matter how you spell the word) fall into this category. Whenever I see one I think "You're so dead, dude. Here, let me complete the process with this wooden stake." I know that vamps can be charmingly hypnotic, able to leap tall buildings, seduce virgins and can even sparkle, but THEY'RE DEAD, okay. Zombies are just a lower social class of vamps. The ones with no fashion sense and few social skills. They wear ratty, blood-stained clothes, moan a lot and complain about how they never get enough brains to eat. They shamble or shuffle and are truly grotesque. Hence my dislike of all things Zombie. Movies, comics, TV shows, you name it. And especially Zombie Balls. At least a Vamp Ball would have some class and I bet their mixed drinks would be unforgettable.

Fortunately, a friend of mine knows my desire to Avoid All Things Zombie so she steered me away from the Westin hotel right after my Alternate History panel since that's where that aforementioned ball was being held. I briskly hiked outside (you don't dare run or they'll come after you) only to encounter them on the street in their tattered dresses, their gray and bloody faces and with their pathetic moans. Sigh. Maybe by next year the con goers will fall in love with something less nasty--like werewolves or something. How's about a Werewolf/Lycanthrope Ball for a change? Though they might be shaggy and have raging cases of Full Moon Syndrome, werewolves are cool. Even cooler in a tux or a ball gown. I'd so be there. With a flea collar, of course.

Of course, because I have a thing against Zombies I included a version of them in my Demon Trappers Series. My reanimates (Deaders) don’t eat brains and they dress nice for the recently deceased. Shopping when you're a copse is problematic. They don’t shuffle or shamble and they don’t hold social events. Deaders are kinda sad, actually. They’re not supposed to be above ground so their minds don’t function quite right. Often they go “screensaver mode” and just stop moving. Quite sad. No, these guys will not be trotting off to some ball in downtown Atlanta in the near future. Or if they do, I don’t want to know about it, okay?

But what about the beaches and vodka you ask? Those references are to the delightful news that my Demon Trappers Series has sold in Brazil (for Portuguese translation) and into Mother Russia! Beaches and vodka. I have no idea when those editions will see the light of the day, but I'm still jazzed.

I bet the Brazilians and the Russians know how to handle zombies properly. Just sayin'...